


Inner Demons

by ChaoticNeurosis



Series: SPN One-Shots [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Self-Harm, Short One Shot, themes of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23440840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticNeurosis/pseuds/ChaoticNeurosis
Summary: It was a bad night, full of panic and nothing but the inner demons - the flashbacks, the nightmares.During the dark dreams, a cry for help escapes the mind, and she wakes to find herself in the arms of an angel. And he will fight away all her inner demons.Inspired by the song "Inner Demons" by Julia Brennan.
Relationships: Gabriel (Supernatural)/Reader
Series: SPN One-Shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703326
Kudos: 41





	Inner Demons

**Author's Note:**

> !WARNING!: There are mentions of depression/self-harm. Please do not read if this will be triggering. Stay safe, Stay healthy out there, y'all. And Always Keep Fighting, you amazing Supernatural Fam. <3

_"No..." I mumbled. "Anyone but him. Please."_

_Asmodeus chuckled, a snarl across his lips. He twisted his hand, and the angel in front of me doubled over, hemorrhaging, coughing up blood. His eyes begged me to save him, but what could I do? My feet felt glued in place and legs were nothing but cement blocks, too heavy to move. Hot tears fell, an ache in my chest so strong. An ache that should have let me rush forward to save the angel that needed help in this moment._

_"Please. I'll do anything. Just let him go!"_

_"Y/N, no!" the angel strained. "Don't..."_

_Asmodeus motioned once more and the angel fell to the floor, curled into the fetal position in pure agony._

_"Gabriel!" I yelled._

_Blood poured from his mouth, his eyes squeezed tight. I watched as his life force was drained, leaving him an empty shell. Asmodeus laughed, his evil spirit filling whatever cavern we were in._

_"GABRIEL!" I shouted, begging for him to come back to his vessel. To just keep living. "NO!"_

_I couldn't save him. No. Every time I love someone. Every. Single. DAMN. TIME!_

_"GABRIEL!"_

_I fell to the ground, needing my archangel to come back. He couldn't be dead. Not Gabe._

"Gabriel!" 

I shot up from sleep, sweat drenching my pajamas and sheets, heart racing. Tears had stained my cheeks. 

"You rang, Sugar?" A familiar voice sounded beside me, and I immediately turned, subconsciously reaching for the knife I kept tucked under my mattress. "Woah, hold up. It's me." His expression shifted from fun-loving to pure concern. "Y/N, what's wrong?"

"You...I couldn't...You were dead..."

Gabriel reached up and caressed my cheek with a thumb, wiping away fresh tears that began to fall. "Come here." 

I curled into his side, head on his chest, my body wracked with sobs. 

"Shh...It was just a dream."

"It was Asmodeus..."

At the mention of the Prince of Hell, Gabriel tensed momentarily. "He's gone, sweet cheeks." 

He held me till the tears dried up and I quit shaking. But when he took my wrist in his hand, I knew a different conversation was about to begin. I felt my cheeks warm from anticipation, frightened of what he might say. I could hide it from Sam, Dean, and Castiel with long sleeves, but my night clothes were tank tops, and they didn't cover wrists. 

"What's this." There was no question in his tone. "Y/N, look at me." 

I bit at my bottom lip and avoided his eyes, not able to take the scrutiny. He cupped my chin and made me look at him. There was no anger in his whiskey eyes, no judgement - only pure sadness and worry. 

"It's bad again, isn't it." 

Blinking to break up the eye contact, I simply nodded in response. 

Gabriel sighed and touched his gentle hand to my wrist, healing the cuts, leaving no trace of what had been there. He wrapped me tightly in his arms, brushing through my y/h/c hair soothingly. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed tighter still, like if he hugged me tight enough he could put all my broken pieces back together again. 

"Y/N...Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I don't want you to worry about me."

"If you don't talk to me about this, then I will worry. Keeping it inside is worse."

"I know. Inner demons are harder to fight than real demons. They don't play by the rules. Sometimes I think if I just fight harder, they'll go away or at least be buried somewhere else. But they're always there, Gabe. Always...They stay. They don't leave. Sometimes I think I should just give up, to stop fighting. I'm so tired. Tired of fighting, of faking it, of living like nothing's wrong."

Gabriel didn't say anything for a few moments, but he still held me as close to him as was possible. "Well, you have an angel on your side. You don't have to fight alone, Sugar. You'll never have to fight alone. Whenever you think you're hurting so bad you have to let the pain out again..." He brushed my wrist with his thumb. "You call me. And I'll come running. Anytime." He kissed the top of my head again. "I'll never give up on you. Got it?"

I nodded into his chest. "Got it," I whispered. "I don't want to lose this battle..." A sob came through as the last word was said.

"You won't. Damn it, sugar, you won't. You hear me? You're not going to lose this fight." 

He held me, silently fighting the inner demons that haunted me every day. Demons of guilt, suffering, worthlessness, could-have-done-better, failure, etc. For a moment, in an archangel's arms, my world was a little less broken. 

**So angels, angels, please just keep on fighting.**

**Angels, don't give up on me today.**

**The demons they are there; they just keep fighting.**

**Cause inner demons just won't go away.**

**So angels please, hear my prayer.**

**Life is pain, life's not fair.**

**So, angels please, please stay here.**

**Take the pain, take the fear.**


End file.
